The Chinese Quest

Five Hungry Jewish Guys' Quest to Find the Best Chinese Restaurant on Long Island

The Chinese Quest - Five Hungry Jewish Guys' Quest to Find the Best Chinese Restaurant on Long Island

[Take Out Review] Bo Bo Kitchen, Roslyn

The Chinese Quest continue to plot their great new adventure (yes, we are going to keep you guessing for now).  As they schemed this evening at a super secret location tucked behind the main road in their adopted home town, and whilst meeting, they supped on some take-out food from Bo Bo Kitchen.

Bo Bobo-bo-kitchen Kitchen delivered, but if you want to go pick up your food yourself, you can find them at:

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285 Warner Ave.

Roslyn Heights, NY 11577

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We were joined this evening by our fast-becoming-Sixth Mee, Mee Har Vee, and my little Mini Mee.

We ordered the following dishes:

  • Spare Ribs – meaty, yes; tasty, so so.  Sorry Bo Bo, these weren’t our favorite ribs.  They lacked some, hmm, what do you call that stuff?  Ah so, yes, BBQ sauce.  They needed some more flavor.
  • Kung Pao Chicken – we asked for it mild.  It was.  It was ok.  But, kind of unmemorable.  And didn’t have a lot of chicken in the dish if memory serves me correctly.
  • Steamed Dumplings – at the bequest of Mini Mee.  He liked them.  There were none left of the rest of us.  On our rating scale, he gave them a three (0-lowest to 5-highest, for those who don’t remember).  Did I mention that the Kung Pao Chicken was unmemorable?  I forgot if I did.
  • String Beans in Garlic Sauce – actually was one of my favorite of the dishes.  The string beans were still nice and crispy, and had a nice flavor.  Perhaps a little too much on the sauce, but it worked.  I wouldn’t have been able to eat a lot of them, but I liked what I ate.
  • Roast Pork w/Snow Peas – The pork was dry (what kind of REALLY bad Jews were we this evening??  It IS still in the middle of Passover, and we’re eating pork [Ed. Note:  Mee Gonzi Biao was there, but being observant, did not eat anything].  Call us Heathens;  Call us anything you like;  But, please don’t call us late for dinner.  Oh, and don’t go serving this dish).  The snow peas were good though!   Odd, for someone like Mee, who’s doesn’t always like his veggies, it was the veggies that resonated most mellifluously for this Mee.
  • Shrimp w/Black Bean Sauce – The shrimps were jumbo.  Succulent.  Good.  I don’t remember much else about this dish.
  • Hot and Sour Soup for V. Stoogas.  He didn’t try it, so we can’t rate it.
  • Wonton Soup – A throw in I guess for the size of our order.  That too sat unopened.  Partially because there were no soup bowls nor spoons.  Not Bo Bo’s fault; but a fault of our environment.

They didn’t pack any fortune cookies with our order, so your destiny, and fortune, are in your own hands.  That’s best where they should be.  Go forth.  Live.  Prosper.  Eat lots of Chinese food.   If you’re looking for Chinese take-out food, Bo Bo Kitchen wasn’t the worst.  And it wasn’t the best.   It was So So.

Humbly submitted for your consumption,

–Mee Magnum (“Chop!  Chop!”)

 

738 total views, 164 views today

Happy Passover!

Happy Passover!

Tonight, Jews around the world will be celebrating the first night of Passover.

Here’s some music to help you enjoy your seder:

For our Gentile readers, here’s the Reader’s Digest version of Passover:

  • Enslavement - Jacob and his children had arrived in Egypt to be close Joseph; he was second in command to King Pharaoh, and with his ingenuity had saved the people of Egypt.  The Egyptians’ way of dealing with their “Jewish Problem” is to enslave the Jews. They are all forced into backbreaking labor, compelled to build cities of treasure houses for Pharaoh.
  • Moses is Appointed a Leader - As Moses is shepherding his flock, he comes upon a burning bush, in which G-d appears to him and instructs him to go to Pharaoh and demand: “Let My people go, so that they may serve Me.”
  • The 10 Plagues - Pharaoh still refuses to let the Jews go. Moses warns him that G-d will smite Egypt. Pharaoh remains impervious. G-d begins to send a series of plagues upon the Egyptians.
  • Exodus - The death of the firstborn finally breaks Pharaoh’s resistance and he literally begs the Children of Israel to leave his land. Following G-d’s command, they hastily depart; so hastily that there is no time for their dough to rise, and the only provisions they take along are unleavened.
  • LOTS of food – Do we really have to explain this one?

Don’t know where to go?  Go to the ONLY Chinese restaurant around that will allow you to celebrate Passover in the pesadich manner, Cho-Sen Island in Lawrence, NY, which is Glatt Kosher.  There sister restaurant in Forest Hills, NY is Cho-Sen Garden.

Our review of Cho-Sen Island is posted here.

 

1,190 total views, 109 views today

Some Fun Facts About Dumplings

Chinese DumplingsMy fortune cookie this evening said that I would be eating dumplings in the near future.  So I thought that this would be a good time to prepare for some dumplings and learn as much about them as possible, including their history.  But, what I stumbled up were some fun facts about dumplings, and I thought that our readers would appreciate reading about those rather than some dry history lessons.  Please let me know if I was right.

Chinese dumplings are eaten on the 5th day of new year in China to resemble good wealth and prosperity.

Wonton, or Chinese dumpling, is a staple food popular throughout China.

In Chinese, wonton means “swallowing clouds”.

The Cantonese wonton has a yellow wrapping (made from flour and egg: think pasta sheet) typically filled with minced pork and shrimp.

Shanghainese Dumplings - This type of Chinese dumpling has a white, thicker wrapping (made from flour only) and the filling includes minced pork and Shanghainese bok choy.

Szechuan Dumplings - Known as “Chao Shou” (crossed hands), they also have a white, relatively thick wrapping. Chao Shou is boiled and served in very, very spicy sauce, as in almost all Szechuan cuisine.

A Dumpling by any other name…

  • Shuijiao – literally means water dumpling; boiled dumplings
  • Zhengjiao – steamed dumplings
  • Guotie – Shallow fried dumplings
  • Danjiao – dumplings that instead of dough, uses an egg skin

Dumplings are eaten in various forms around the world:

  • Chinese wonton
  • Italian ravioli
  • Jewish kreplach
  • Polish pierogi

are all types of dumplings filled with meat, cheese, or vegetables.

Chinese-DumplingsFor Chinese New Year, serve jiaozi (dumplings boiled in water). Place coins inthe center of the dumplings. Whoever bites into the dumpling with a coin will have an exceptionally lucky year. And possibly a chipped tooth.

Perhaps this was a history lesson after all.  But, if you thought upfront I was going to talk about history, you might have fallen asleep; Now I hope you were entertained.

But, all I know now is that all this talk about dumplings is making me hungry!

Submitted for your consumption,

–Mee Magnum (“Chop!  Chop!”)

668 total views, 11 views today

The Year of the Horse | A Funny Look at the Chinese Zodiac

chinese-year-horse

With ample thanks to Bernadette King of examiner.com, who’s article we found online as we searched for background information of this, the Chinese Year of Horse.  Her article titled “A funny look at the Chinese Zodiac sign of the Horse” can be found here.  And it is with her permission that we cite parts of her article [Edit:  The whole article is so good, we present it in it's entirety], and provide the above links to her full article.

Hi, ho Silver! Away!

Annnndddd we’re off to the races!

Ride, Sally, Ride!

Now, a horse is a horse, of course, of course, but of the personalities of the 12 Chinese zodiac animals, Horses are the ones always rearing to go! They’re headin’ ‘em up and movin’ ‘em out, baby!

For those born with the Chinese zodiac sign of the Horse, a prodigious intelligence and tendency to be a workhorse allows them to plow ahead of all the rest in almost every endeavor. They’ll have crossed many a finish line long before the others even make it out of the starting gate.

They’re the life whisperers.

Hay, that’s an OK corral to be in!

Because Horses believe themselves to be the world’s beasts of burden, those crazy Horses simply do not know how smart they really are. They mistakenly think all their time spent in the winner’s circle is due only to their hard work and good horse sense. The Chinese zodiac sign of the Horse seldom can be trained to know how truly special they really are. This accounts for their innate lack of confidence.

Hay, that may not be an OK corral to be in.

But then, you know the whole “you can lead a horse to water” routine.

However, on the flip side, Horses can be a bit egotistical, neigh, even downright selfish.

Hot-to-trot, Horses are one of the sexier signs of the Chinese zodiac. They definitely sow their share of wild oats and they’re made of steel except when it comes to love. No, love is so deadly to them, it’s their Trojan…uh…well…themselves.

But, no matter how many times they end up in the dirt, the Chinese Horse will get back in the saddle time and again because they’re dreamers. It’s the joy and the pain of that damned old rodeo of love. Don’t worry, they’ll win the next go ’round.

Hot-headed, it’s sometimes hard to know what will trigger the Horse’s temper. Man o’ man, can they go to war! It’s been Affirmed that it takes a Phar Lap to get them to forfeit or withdraw. They need a Secretariat just to keep track of all their battles royale.

This elegant Chinese zodiac animal could really benefit from taking off their horseshoes and having some Red Rum and a Seabiscuit. They really need to kick up their heels a bit and cool down or they could wind up getting a citation from the war admiral.

Always one to be part of the herd, Horses seek out crowds—especially crowded events. Conversely, they get long in the face if they feel peer pressure. Horses are rebels with many a cause, but they don’t have a group mentality.

A major personality trait of the Chinese Horse is the desire to toil for the greater good, but they want to do so in their own time and in their own way. This juxtaposition makes it tough for the Horse to ever feel as though they truly “belong”.

The Horse hates to be fenced in and tends to leave home early, seeking greener pastures elsewhere. They are infamous for their short attention spans. On the Chinese zodiac calendar, The Year of the Horse is for rebuilding.

Though this Chinese zodiac sign is an expert with money, Horse years must be carefully monitored for monetary expenditures. Don’t Horse around with dough or all bets could be lost and nobody wants to go through financial desert on a Horse with no name. Worse, nobody wants to run around calling, “Wildfire! Wildfire in my bank account!”

Horse symbolism is that of strength and stamina. It is strength symbolized as honor, valor, conviction and courage rather than the brutish kind. Yes, the Horse is a being painted with many different colors. Head-strong but a pushover, wanting a soulmate yet craving independence the Horse has a city slicker’s cunning and is naive at the same time.

Some believe Horses to be fickle while others say they’re experts at hedging their bets. And then, there are those who know the Horse’s unbridled, passionate nature leads it where few will follow. The Horse wants to experience all the Universe has to offer.

As Pegasus they fly to the heavens and reside in the stables of the Gods to remind mankind of the ascension. As a unicorn, they reside in the magical realms on earth, reminding mankind of purity, unity and unconditional love. As a centaur, Horses reside in a duality to remind us to seek balance and harmony in all things.

Always remember Horse, when your pale brother takes you on a final ride, wild hearts can’t be broken and we’ll do some living after we die.

On a more serious note…

Chinese Horse Facts:

Fixed Element: Fire
Direction: South
Color: Black
Flower: Narcissus
Tree: White Birch
Number: 8
Birthstone: Topaz
Western Zodiac SignGemini
CompatibilityChinese DogChinese Tiger

Celebrity Horses: Paul McCartney, Barbara Streisand, John Travolta, Michael York, Clint Eastwood, Ella Fitzgerald, Kevin Costner, Cindy Crawford, James Dean, Sean Connery, Neil Armstrong, Chris Evert, Harrison Ford, Jerry Goldsmith, Gene Hackman, Ulysses S. Grant, Ingmar Bergman, Robert Duvall, William Holden, Patty Hearst, James Earl Jones, Agnes Moorehead, Rembrandt, Theordoore Roosevelt, Martin Scorsese

Were you born under a different sign of the Chinese Zodiac?

chinese-zodiac-horoscope-animal-years

Please go to Bernadette’s article where she has links to the 11 other articles she’s written on the symbols of the Chinese Zodiac.

Humbly submitted for your consumption, with thanks again to Bernadette King of examiner.com,

–Mee Magnum (“Chop!  Chop!”)

4,711 total views, 132 views today

Foo Kee Seafood Restaurant

Our latest adventure has led us back to Flushing to try some Cantonese style cuisine. Foo Kee Seafood Restaurant is located at 136-14 38th Ave.  Pulling up to the place, some of the Mees were put off by the “B” grade which was posted at the entrance. Apparently, anything lower than an “A” would make some hesitate to enter. Not for this Mee. Being a “B” student in school, I found it hard to judge the place.

The big surprise of the evening was the presence of our guest, Mee Har Vee. MHV is a lover of good food (Chinese being one of his favorite), a wine connoisseur, and an all around nice guy. He brought 5 bottles of wine that were perfectly selected for each dish. The ordering of the food was spearheaded by the restaurant’s manager, Darren Kwong. Darren did a real nice job of ordering some real tasty dishes.

The wines for the evening included:

SEVEN DAUGHTERS- 7 blends of grapes that really kicked off the evening!

PIERRE SPARR- a Gewurztraminer, aromatic, high natural sugar, with sweetness that offsets the spice in Asian cuisine

BERINGER- a Chennin Blanc

CONUNDRUM- Wow, delicious full bodied red

SCRAPONA-  Moscato D’ Asti, dessert wine, delicious, and not too sweet

Darren started us off with 3 Apps.

Spare Ribs- were small, not very meaty, with limited flavor

Crispy Duck- cooked just right, with crispy skin, and really moist meat

Salt & Pepper Pork Chop- I loved this dish, crispy outside with wonderful flavor. If there was anything left over, I would have eaten it the next day on a Kaiser roll with mayo, and tomato

Entrees included:

BEEF & ASPARAGUS- nicely cooked cubes of beef with cut pieces of asparagus in a great sauce

SCALLOPS IN PEPPER SAUCE- Wow, Wow, Wow, A terrific dish! Among the many things that I learned on this Quest, is how much I love scallops. I do not order them enough.

CRISPY GARLIC CHICKEN- great seasoning, but the chicken was slightly dry

LOBSTER WITH GINGER & SCALLION- this 5 1/2 lb lobster was a great dish that made a real nice presentation. You can never go wrong with ginger & scallion sauce, although I have had it better at other places.

HOUSE SPECIAL FRIED RICE- a lot going on in this dish, but slightly dry

Overall, our dinner was really enjoyable. The food was delicious, and the wine really added a wonderful touch. Thanks again to Mee Har Vee for the wine education. A great night spent with my Brother Mees!!

Goodbye for now,

Mee Tsu Yan

 

 

 

7,944 total views, 266 views today

The Potential Benefits of Instant Replay in Professional Questing

In my opinion, professional sports have benefited by the use of instant replay where there is a question as to whether initial findings on the field may be contradicted.   Unfortunately, on-table cameras to capture the gastronomic play-by-play during our Quests do not yet exist so we have to rely on the memories of all to determine if an error has been committed.

I would like to throw that yellow flag on to the field to see if, perhaps, the initial ruling on the field, uh table,  may have been compromised.    Let’s go to the replay booth…..

I do indeed believe that Foo Kee Seafood Restaurant was a very good meal.  In my humble opinion, it was good but not great.  Funny how the scores given to the restaurant have escalated it to the second favorite overall?  Hmmmm, Mee thinks there are other factors at play here.

I have learned over the years that while numbers do not lie,  statistics can be used to lie.  I have to give credit to Darrel Huff in his book “How to Lie with Statistics” where examples of misuse in statistics can come about by simple bias introduced inadvertently.  So, where is the smoking gun in this case? HMMM???

But of course Watson.. the culprit is obviously THE WINE!  (cue the music, Sherlock Holmes enters carrying 5 empty wine bottles).

HOLMES:  Yes, Watson, it is through sheer deduction that we encounter the real story in this case.  What was previously only understood as being a simple wine bottle,turned into two then three and so on and so on.   These empty vessels quickly turned our sextet to an array of inebriated fellows whose real opinions about the food were artificially enhanced by the perfect pairing by a professional wine authority.  It is only from the introduction of these well tailored pairings that our heroes judgements may have become clouded with a euphoria hence clouding their best judgement when scores were posted.  Submitted for your ultimate adjudication, the Demon Drink!  (cue the final music, roll credits, fade to black).

In order to properly judge all of the restaurants on an even platform, either we have to now re-visit each one previously visited and bring a proper assortment of wines to match the food (sorry Mee Har Vee but we all need to sacrifice on this one, so start bulking up on inventory) or this meal should be labeled with an asterisk noting that due to “performance enhancing substances” the results may be biased.

Respectfully submitted,

MEE GONZI BIAO

Chow for Now!

293 total views, 5 views today

[REVIEW] Foo Kee Seafood Restaurant, Flushing

The Spirits Moved Mee

When is a “B” the second best score that you can get?  When it comes to Foo Kee Seafood Restaurant!  As in achieving the second highest rating ever accorded by The Chinese Quest that is!  For the other reason that you could score a “B”, you’ll just have to check out our Twitter feed.

After a two month hiatus, in the winter that seemingly will never end in the New York City Metropolitan area, the Mee’s hit the road again this evening.  Taking special note of Mee Tsu Yan’s delicate intestinal fortitude, or lack thereof at this time, we purposely chose a Chinese restaurant of the Cantonese variety.

Once again search of the best Chinese restaurant around we ventured forth again across the Nassau border in to Flushing, NY.  At this point we must consider rating Flushing restaurants on a separate scale than Long Island restaurants as is becoming evident that Flushing restaurants are now occupying four of the top five spots on our Quest to find the best Chinese restaurant on all of, umm, Long Island (Editors Note:  Stay tuned… we will split the rankings out by Long Island vs. Flushing/Chinatown (whenever we actually do get there) in to separate categories (I love it when a post writes itself.  No writers block for Mee!)

FK1

Our destination was:

Foo Kee Seafood Restaurant

136-14 38th Avenue

Flushing, NY 11354

Our special guest this evening was the most honorable Mee Har Vee, a world renowned wine connoisseur, or sommelier, a bon vivant, and an all around nice guy.  A real mensch,  if ever we met one.  A character.  And boy do we know characters!

Darren was our host.  I swear the guy could have been in vaudeville!  And what better way to strike a chord with a Jew than being funny and personable.  We were in for a real treat (which sure put, the “B” rating that the Board of Health slapped on the restaurant, our minds at ease).

We left ALL of the ordering to him… and we left the wine selection to Mee Har Vee… more on that later.

When Darren (we’re not really sure if that’s his real name or a stage name) brought out three appetizers that included our staple of spare ribs (so so), crispy peking duck (yum-Mee), and a crispy chicken dish (Editors Note #2:  A full dish-by-dish review will be presented in a subsequent post by Mee Tsu Yan, so forgive Mee please if I don’t identify every dish that we had… and you don’t catch on too quickly that this is a ploy to get you to come back to our Blog to read HIS review!), our meal got off to a great start.

FK2

It was accompanied by Mee Har Vee’s first of five wine selections, called “Seven Daughters”.  Now being that we were six guys, we were a little confused.  What was the extra daughter doing at our table?  Then he explained the Seven daughters represented the seven different grapes that were blended in to making this most delicious white wine. (Editors Note #3:  Please excuse my finger in the picture.  I liked the wine so much that I couldn’t keep my hands off of it!)  There were four other wines served.  Beats me what they were called.  By then I was… umm, back to the review.  I will leave it to Mee Tsu Yan to fill in the missing details.

So, after the appetizers settled nicely in to our bellies it was time for Darren (that was his name, right?) to recommend our entrees.  There were four or five spectacular choices served with some incredible sauces.  Nothing spicy.  But, very succulent.

FK3

My favorite was this pictured five pound lobster in garlic and ginger (?  Mee Tsu Yan has those details waiting for you… I KNOW you want to go now to Foo Kee Seafood Restaurant and try all these dishes for yourself.  But, you won’t know what to order.  Yet!) sauce.

There was some steak cube (kew?) … melted in your mouth.  Scallops that were like butter.  Another chicken dish, and house special fried rice (apologies Tsu Yan, I didn’t mean to steal your thunder, but I wanted to whet our readers appetites for your upcoming in depth analysis of each dish).

Being a true, authentic, Chinese Restaurant, there was no fortune cookies served for desert (so sorry, you’ll have to pick your lotto numbers from some other place), but the sweetest juiciest oranges I’ve had in a long long time.

There are literally hundreds of Chinese restaurants that you could go to in Flushing.  This is one that you surely don’t want to miss (we also recommend the others that we have reviewed… please check our Reviews and Rankings pages for more information).

And now, the numerical breakdown of our review, that brings Foo Kee Seafood Restaurant in to the #2 position of our Official Chinese Quest Rankings:

FooKeeRating

Humbly submitted for your consumption,

–Mee Magnum (“Chop!  Chop!”)

 

9,826 total views, 337 views today

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

jewish-st-patrick1They say that EVERYONE is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day.  Even Jews.  And, I would assume that goes for Chinese people too.

But, are there any “real” Irish Jews?

According to one legend the Irish are actually descended from 7 Jewish maidens (and pre-Celtic men) who survived a shipwreck off the Green Island of Eire.

In fact, there are many Famous Irish Jews, here are a few you might know:

  • Robert Briscoe, member of the Irish Republican Army during the Anglo-Irish War and twice Lord Mayor of Dublin (1956 and 1961).
  • Ben Briscoe (son of Robert Briscoe), former Fianna Fáil T.D. and Lord Mayor of Dublin (1988).
  • Daniel Day-Lewis, actor (an Irish citizen with Jewish mother).
  • Rabbi Yitzhak HaLevi Herzog, Chief Rabbi of Ireland from 1919 to 1937, later of Palestine and Israel.
  • Chaim Herzog, sixth President of Israel.
  • Sir Otto Jaffe, Lord Mayor of Belfast (1899 and 1904).
  • Max Nurok, Israeli Consul-General to Australia, subsequently Israel’s first Ambassador to Australia.

Here’s my recommendation for the perfect holiday meal:

  • Boiled Chicken wrapped in Cabbage
  • Corned Beef Dumplings
  • Corned Beef with Chinese Vegetables
  • Potato pancakes
  • Green Fortune Cookies

Humbly submitted for your consumption,

–Mee Magnum (“Chop!  Chop!”)

 

7,466 total views, 206 views today

[Check!] The Chinese Quest Mentioned in Newspaper

We can (sort of) check this one/these two off of our 2014 Bucket List.  It was just brought to our attention that The Chinese Quest was mentioned, albeit in the online comments, in an article that was published on their website (I’m not sure if it was also in their print version as I don’t receive the paper) in Long Island’s Newsday newspaper on March 5, 2014.

This sort of checks off two of the ten items in our Bucket List:

#7)  One of our posts gets quoted in either another website, blog, or article.

#3)  Our reviews are published in a Newspaper on Long Island and/or New York City.

It’s a stretch to say we met the exact criteria of our goal.  As a result they still remain on our Bucket List.

The article, titled “Chinese restaurants on LI: 3 picks“, gave a very brief review of three Chinese restaurants that The Chinese Quest reviewed last year.  The three restaurants they reviewed were (click on the restaurant name to read our reviews of the same three restaurants):

  1. The Orient
  2. Hunan Taste
  3. (The) Fortune Wheel (Seafood Restaurant, to give the full proper name of the restaurant)

It was in the comments section below the online article that The Chinese Quest was mentioned:

NewsdayComments

And just a reminder, as if you didn’t already know, you can read all of our Reviews and Rankings by clicking on the Menu bar (or by clicking those words in this sentence).

Humbly submitted for your consumption,

–Mee Magnum (“Chop!  Chop!”)

4,623 total views, 76 views today

Funny Jewish / Chinese Restaurant Jokes

So, while we wait a little while for the weather to thaw out so we can go out Questing again, instead of kvetching, we sat around with some take-out and shared a few jokes.  We hope you’ll like plotz like we did.

oldjewstellingjokes

A Jewish man and a Chinese man were conversing. The Jewish man commented upon what a wise people the Chinese are. “Yes,” replied the Chinese man, “Our culture is over 4,000 years old.

But, you Jews are a very wise people, too.” The Jewish man replied, “Yes, our culture is over 5,000 years old.”

The Chinese man was incredulous, “That’s impossible, he replied. Where did your people eat for a thousand years?”

 

Jewish-Christmas-Flyer-620x170

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. “Sid,” asked Al, “are there any Jews in China?”

“I don’t know,” Sid replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”

When the waiter came by, Al asked him, “Are there any Chinese Jews?”

“I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No, Chinese Jews.”

“Are you sure?” Al asked.

“I will check again, sir,” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere.”

When the waiter returned he said, “Sir, no Chinese Jews.”

“Are you really sure?” Al asked again.

“I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.”

“Sir, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied exasperated. “We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chinese Jews.”

 

bernbaums

An airplane takes off from the airport. The captain is Jewish and the first officer is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and it’s obvious by the silence that they don’t get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain speaks, “I don’t like Chinese

The First Officer replies, ” Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why ees that?”

The Captain says, “You bombed Pearl Harbor. That’s why I don’t like Chinese.”

The F.O. says, “Nooooo, noooo… Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That Japanese, not Chinese.”

And the Captain answers, “Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese… it doesn’t matter, they’re all alike.” Another thirty minutes of silence.

Finally the F.O. says, “No like Jew.” The Captain replies, “Why not? Why don’t you like Jews?”

F.O. says, “Jews sink Titanic.” The Captain tries to correct him, “No, no.

The Jews didn’t sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg.” The F.O. replies,” Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, no mattah. All same.”

 

Submitted for your consumption,

–Mee Magnum (“Chop!  Chop!”)

10,507 total views, 305 views today

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