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Bah Humbug! NO Chinese Restaurant Reviews This Christmas

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THIS is what COVID-19 has driven us to.  The year from hell.  It tried to put restaurants out of business.  It tried to render us insignificant.  It TRIED to put The Chinese Quest out of business.  But, we ARE coming back baby.  Just you wait and see.

Blame it all on COVID-19 for the fact that we are not going to continue our annual Christmas holiday suggestions for Jews to go to on Christmas tradition.  Every year people look forward to our series of extra-special Chinese restaurants.  But what are you getting from us?  COAL.  Nothing.  Nada.  ZIP.  

COVID-19, we are feeling the pains you have caused.  The suffering we have endured.  Loved ones we lost.  Humanity isolated.  The joy of dining together with friends and family, you replaced with loneliness and depression.  You are one nasty bug.  And now you are putting even more pressure on us as you mutate.  Trying to crush us like insects.  

Remember the COAL?  Well, COVID-19, you are fucking with humans.  Squeeze us hard.  HARDER.  We will not cave.  We will take your evil.  Take all you’ve dished out.  Pressure?  Trying to destroy us.  Squeezing tighter.  Keep going.  COVID, do you know what happens when you apply enormous pressure to coal?  DIAMONDS.  Diamonds.  The hardest material in the world.  The shiniest.  Brightest.  WATCH us glitter in 2021.  We’re going to stroll into restaurants with diamonds on the soles of our shoes.  Take that COVID-19!


(Women’s shoes available for pre-order now. Men’s styles coming in the Spring of 2021)

We are fighting back now.  With vaccines to render you harmless.  We will be back stronger.  Hungrier.  Society will open again.  Businesses will thrive again.  Restaurants will open again.  It is going to be one fucking big party in 2021.  Celebrations like you’ve never seen.  Food like you’ve never tasted.  Restaurants re-opening.  Stores rebounding.  Joy again spread through the land.  And when all of those Chinese restaurants open, THEN the Chinese Quest will be back.  Better.  Stronger.  Cast-iron bellies ready to try everything.  Dishes we never heard of.  Bring them on.  Seconds of everything!!


(FDA approval pending for use as chopsticks)

COVID-19.  2020.  FUCK OFF!  Begone!

Very humbly submitted for your consumption,

Mee Magnum (“Chop!  Chop!”)

P.S.  For those offended by the language used in this article, I offer my humblest and sincerest apologies.  But, when you mess with New Yorkers, damn it, we won’t take your sh!t.

P.P.S.  For those people really looking for a good Chinese restaurant to eat this Christmas, or any day of the year, check out our series of what, and where, Jews will eat on Christmas.

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