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Ode on a Take-Out Box of Chinese Food

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שיין שנה טוב – 巴蒂爾l良好 – Happy New Year!

No, it’s not Christmas.  Heck, it’s not even Yom Kippur, but it is Rosh Hashana!  Following along on an old family tradition (yes, my family was far from Traditional, but we did have our traditions!), I had Chinese food for dinner.

We used to go out to a Chinese restaurant on pretty much all Jewish holidays.  But, Mini Mee is with his mother for the next few nights, so this Mee had to fend for himself, and he took out Chinese food.

So I as sit and ponder my beef and broccoli, after consuming my wonton soup (I’m fighting off a cold), my thoughts start to wander.  And wonder.  Where did this marvel of modern science come from.  The Chinese food take-out box.  Not only does it keep our food hot (how does it?), but it serves a second purpose:

Amazing!  Who would have thunk it?

More things I ponder:

  • How they get the fortune inside the cookie without burning the paper!
  • How do they fry ice cream without melting the ice cream?
  • How do we go from two cells to the miracles of human beings with all their personalities?
  • Is this day really different from all other days?  (umm, sorry… Save that question for Passover)
  • Why do we drive on a Parkway; yet park on a driveway?
  • How is take out Chinese food ALWAYS ready in less than 10 minutes (and Italian food is minimally 45 minutes… and when you get there it is still not ready?!)
  • Why are chopsticks called chopsticks?  (BTW, is it “chopsticks”?  Or “chop sticks”?)
  • What happens if your credit card bill was due yesterday… but, you’re on a cruise and you cross the International Date Line?  Would you still get charged a late fee?  (Can someone check that for me?)
  • Why do Jews love Chinese food so much?

I finished my dinner an hour ago.  I wonder why I’m hungry again??

Humbly submitted for your consumption,

— Mee Magnum (“Chop!  Chop!”)

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One comment

  1. I forgot to post the fortune: “Your modesty will shame those with lesser knowledge”.

    It’s not easy being Mee! 😉

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