Independence Day Chinese Quest Style

Independence Day.  4th of July.  Hot dogs.  Hamburgers.  BBQ.  Watermelon.  Beach.  American Flag.  Family.  Friends.  The bottom line?  Aren’t we “Fortune”-ate to live in the good old United States of America?  This, being the Chinese Quest, begs the question, how should WE celebrate the holiday?  What’s the Chinese equivalent of Hot Dogs?  Egg Rolls?  May be.  But, they don’t look very patriotic, do they?  So what else can we do.  Hmmm… Fortunate.  Fortune.  Fortune Cookies!!  

Fortune Cookies.  Yes.  We can work with those.  If we decorate them patriotically.  

What else is appropriate for the 4th of July BBQ?  Good Humor Ice Cream!!  

Let’s marry those two ideas.  How?  Humorous Fortune Cookies of course!

Humorous Fortune Cookies

What do you think of these?

Don’t marry of money.  You can borrow it cheaper.

Honeymoon should be like table:  4 bare legs, no drawers.

Wise husband is one who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half the time.

Life is sexually transmitted condition.

Your reality check is about to bounce.

Your inferiority complex not good enough.  Try harder.

You are cleverly disguised as responsible adult.

Drive like hell, you will get there.

Wise person never try to get even.  Wise person gets odder.

Wise person need either good manners or fast reflexes.

Hard work pays off in future.  Laziness pays off now.

Some days your are pigeon, some days you are statue.  Today, bring umbrella.

Okay to look at past and future.  Just don’t stare.

You will soon have an out of money experience.

Probability of being seen directly proportional to stupidity of act.

He who dies with most toys, still dies.

Person who rests on laurels gets thorns in backside.

Person who give self haircut after rice wine will be buzzed.

Person show argue with idiot is taken for fool.

Look before you leap.  Or wear parachute.

The end is near, might as well have dessert.

A day without sunshine is like night.

You laugh now.  Wait till you get home.

May your life be like a roll of toilet paper, long and useful.

You can be young once, but can be immature forever.

Be nice to friends.  You might need them to empty your bedpan one day.

No one reads your blog.  (hmm… are you reading this??)

This fortune is no good.  Try another.  Or,

The fortune you seek is in another cookie.

Which is your favorite?

Humbly submitted for your consumption,

—Mee Magnum  (“Chop!  Chop!”)

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