May Your Life Be Like a Roll of Toilet Paper

Doesn’t that sound just like a Fortune Cookie?  Would you believe me if I told you that’s what I found inside mine today?  No?  Would you believe that it’s one that I saw written in a bathroom stall at a Chinese restaurant?  No?  Ok, BUTT, it’s half true.

But, it shouldn’t surprise you that we are very observant of the bathrooms at the Chinese restaurants that we review.  All you have to do is follow our Twitter feed and you’d know that we always post at least one bathroom picture from every Chinese restaurant that we visit.  Consider it one of our trademarks.  Zorro has his mark.  Our mark is bathroom shots.  You may think it odd.  But, I find it kind of inspirational.  It also one of the metrics in the calculation of Jew Appeal.

But, back to the topic on, umm, hand.  Take for example, the above.  “May  Your Life Be Like a Roll of Toilet Paper”.  You’re probably asking yourself, “WHY?”  Why should my life be like a roll of toilet paper?  What is so special about toilet paper, and why should I live my life aspiring to be just like a roll of toilet paper?

We’ve often pondered such questions when trying to interpret some of the Fortune Cookies that we have read, and digested, on our travels.  Most truly aren’t “fortunes” per se.  Heck, a lot of them don’t even make much sense.  But, yet we still love to get them, and expect them, at the end of our meals.  Especially if one is eating out at an Americanized Chinese restaurant.  We love to see what our fortunes are.  We read them aloud to one another.  We laugh.  Some of you might even learn a few words of Chinese.  Or, you might be inspired to play the lucky numbers that are printed on them as well.  So much knowledge and information is contained inside that little delicious Fortune Cookie.

The Proper Way Toilet Paper Should Roll

And before we get off the can, I mean off the topic of toilet paper, let’s settle once and for all the age old argument of which way the toilet paper should be mounted.  I’m not OCD’ish or anything, but there really is one, and only one right way to put the toilet paper on the roller.  YES, it needs to come off the roll OVER the top.  If it comes from underneath it connotes that it’s coming off the floor.  I don’t know about you, but I want my toilet paper to be clean and pristine!

If you’ve made it this far, I commend you.  Please post a comment and we’ll be sure to recognize you somehow.  Let’s see how many comments we actually got.  BUTT, if you did make it this far, we’ve got an even greater reward for you.  We’re going to answer the riddle of why we say that getting that fortune cookie is a good thing.  So why do I say “May Your Life be Like a Roll of Toilet Paper” is a good fortune?  For, like a roll of toilet paper, “your life should be long and useful!”.

Humbly submitted for your consumption,

—Mee Magnum  (“Chop!  Chop!”)

P.S.  I saw that written on a bathroom wall one summer while I was at Camp Boiberik way way back in the late 1960’s.  Those words stuck with me all these years.  Kind of like the toilet paper that gets stuck to the bottom of your shoe and you can’t shake it off!!  Those were such great times!  And now you know the rest of the story.