The Perfect Gift For the Person Who Has Everything!

Posted by: Mee Magnum in Chop Suey, Holiday, Humor 0 58 Views

Share this on...

You’ve got one, two, or more of them on your gift list. You know… The person who has everything. The impossible person to shop for. Every year you stress on finding them the perfect present. Fear not. We’ve got you covered this year! Consider it our little present to YOU! You can thank us later.

What NOT to get!

For Him:

A Tie – BORING!
Belt – Of course NOT! That might come back to bite you on the bottom 😉
Bathrobe – Hmm, that’s not a bad one actually.
Gift Cards – Very impersonal!

For Her:

An iron – See “belt” above!
Toaster / Oven – Hopefully she gave you an Electric Blanket… You’re going to need it! Same advice applies for Washing Machines, Vacuum Cleaners, and other appliances.
Jewelry – You’re setting the bar too high. How will you top that next year?
Flowers – NO! They die. Bad message.

The Perfect Gift:

An annual subscription to The Chinese Quest!

What are the benefits of Subscription?

Immediate notification of new Chinese restaurant reviews!
Recipes that you can make at home!
Interesting articles that you can cite to impress your family, friends, and co-workers! You’re going to be the center of attraction at the water cooler and office parties in a matter of days!
Notification of videos that are about to go viral, right to your inbox. You’ll be the first to view them. See the benefits of interesting articles. Those same benefits apply here as well!
Fodder you can post to your Facebook wall. Enough already with the dog and cat pictures. The political memes. The tasteless jokes. The Ray-Ban 90% off deals. Baby pictures. C’mon!! For crying out loud, you’ve seen one baby, dog, cat, puppy or kitten, and you’ve seen them all. ALL Golden Retriever puppies look the same!! Be different! Improve the QUALITY of your Facebook posts by sharing posts from The Chinese Quest!
And so much more!

From today until the first night of Chanukah and Christmas Eve, Hanukkah Harry and Santa Claus, in cooperation with The Chinese Quest are making this a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Never before have we put our Subscriptions on sale. NEVER before have we ever offered a deal THIS spectacular!

And if you order in the next 72 hours, we will double, that’s right double, the duration of your subscription at NO additional cost!

This would be a great bargain at FULL price*!

If you order now, we will take not 10% off the price? Nooo. Not 50% or 80%. You know, we must me meshuganah! Are you ready for this? Do you have a pen and paper handy? Heck, you don’t even need those now… we are going to give you secret link to order this once in a lifetime deal.

Yes, we ARE meshuganah! We are offering YOU 100% off the regular Subscription price to the Chinese Quest Newsletter.

There’s MORE!

For every person you get to purchase a subscription (think sharing this article on Facebook, e-mailing this article, etc., etc. Your opportunities for this are infinite!), we will give you and additional 100% off of YOUR subscription price.

Yes. There’s even MORE!!

Refer five or more verified people who subscribe to the Newsletter and we will upgrade your subscription to a LIFETIME subscription! And we promise never to increase your price.

So act today!

Offer is limited to supply on hand.