All This Hebrew is Making Me Hungry!

So, this past Saturday, the Mee’s attended a Bar Mitzvah for one of their own.  Truly a beautiful ceremony and a great job by the Bar Mitzvah boy!   Our children are growing up SO quickly!!

What Is a Bar Mitzvah?

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term and celebration, according to Jewish law, at the age of thirteen a boy is no longer considered a minor and is responsible to fulfill all the Torah’s commandments. The term “bar mitzvah” literally means “son of the mitzvah,” or one who is obligated in mitzvah observance.  You may ask, “What is a mitzvah?”.  A mitzvah is a precept or commandment.  It is also a a good deed done from religious duty.  You may ask, “What’s a precept?”.  And, I would reply, “Stop asking so many questions!  Look it up!”.

The obligation is automatic, whether or not a celebration or special ceremony is held. But since becoming a bar mitzvah is such an important milestone and joyous occasion, we make a point of celebrating together with family and friends.

What Else Is a Bar Mitzvah?

A Bar Mitzvah is LONG!

A Bar Mitzvah is attended by a LOT of Jews!  And when there are so many Jews present, there’s a collective energy that forms.  A Force.  And there’s no more powerful force that drives Jews than (especially at this time of the year, coupled with the fact that the service was running long in to the lunch hour… so a hungry Jew can’t block out certain thoughts of) Chinese food!

During the Haftorah, I was receiving subliminal messages about spareribs; During the Kiddish, Kung Pao Chicken.

Finally it was over.  I was starving.  No offense to all the guests, but the women started looking like Dumplings.  Their handbags started to resemble Chinese Take-out boxes.  But, of course this being the Gold Coast of Long Island, the bags were custom made by Luis Vuitton and Coach.

Was it mass hypnosis?  Was EVERYONE seeing what I was seeing??  I had to confirm this hypothesis.  By chance, Mee And Yu was a guest too, and HER handbag also resembled a Chinese food take-out box.  Was it an oasis?  Was I hallucinating?   I took a picture.  Even laid a “Chinese Quest” business card next to it to give it prospective.

Is this a hoax?  Was this Chinese take-out box/handbag akin to the Loch Ness Monster?  More myth and legend than reality??

Can anyone else confirm this sighting?

I hope it was real.  If not, then I think we need to market these.  We can even have a line of insulated bags.  What Jew doesn’t take left overs home?  Who doesn’t need a bag to take your food home from the Chinese restaurant or take-out joint?

Who would buy it?  Would you?

Humbly submitted for your consumption,

—Mee Magnum  (“Chop!  Chop!”)