Chinese Food is My Novocaine

I was under the influence of nitrous oxide during oral surgery this afternoon.  So nu? So sue me if I go too far.  When I find myself in times of trouble, Chinese food comes to Mee. While the surgeon worked on and on an on, I kept hearing these bizarre lyrics playing on and on and on in my head, “Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings”  “Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings”, Aaaaahhhhh… Aaaaahhhhh… Aaaaahhhhh.  Open wide and sing “Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings”.

Picture yourself in a seat in a Chinese restaurant
With orange trees and Asian people
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A waitress with kaleidoscope eyes

Chinese menus of gold and red
Towering over your head
Look for the waitress with the pad in her hands
And she’s gone

Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Aaaaahhhhh…

Follow her down to a seat by a fish tank
Where rocking Hello Kitties eat chicken chow mein
Everyone smiles as you drift past the kitchen
That smells so incredibly good

Dim sum carts appear out of nowhere
Waiting to take you away
Climb on the back with your head in the steam
And you’re gone

Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Aaaaahhhhh…

Picture yourself on a Lazy Susan on the table
With chopsticks drawn on everyone’s ties
Suddenly someone is there at the table
The waitresses are there with your foooooood

Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Aaaaahhhhh…
Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Aaaaahhhhh…
Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings
Lo Mein in the Sky with Dumplings [fade out]

Sadly, there was no fortune cookies with my bill.  Oh the pain of it all!

Humbly submitted for your consumption,

—Mee Magnum  (“Chop!  Chop!”)